Title Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV4PNmiEYzg
Yes, it’s my birthday.
I woke up next to my beautiful young, tender girlfriend and stuck my tongue in her folds for breakfast. What a glorious morning.
Rest of the day is being spent in an awfully boring meeting – and to be honest, I really, really need to badly hurt someone and make her cry like a baby. Soon.
Thank goodness, spring is next.
Måske er det selvindsigt – måske er det bare alderens beroligende viden om, at alting kun er en overgang? Jeg ved det faktisk ikke. Måske er det en kombination af flere faktorer.
I hvert fald har jeg dage, hvor jeg bare må indse, at jeg ved gud ikke får nogen gode idéer den dag. Dage, hvor jeg næppe bidrager til at gøre Verden til et bedre sted – og hvor selvværdet virkelig skranter.
I dag er en af de dage. En af de dage, hvor mine dansehåndtag er lidt tydeligere end i går, og hvor min begyndende måne er skæmmende. I går var det hele i grunden både charmerende og med til at gøre mig menneskelig, maskulin og sexet. I dag gør det mig bare gammel og uattraktiv.
Jeg kravler ind under dynen igen, læser en bog og venter på, det går over. I morgen skinner solen måske.
Vi har – i modsætning til de fleste andre dyr – et højt udviklet, verbalt sprog, med hvilket, vi kan kommunikere med hinanden. Alligevel taler vi om KPI’er, om at “fokusere” og om, hvordan tingene ser ud “i vores optik”. Jeg græmmes.
Næste gang, jeg hører et voksent menneske tale om sin optik, om at gøre noget LEAN, om at fokusere eller om at joine… så forbeholder jeg mig retten til at belære dem påtrængende og indgånde, til jeg – og de – er sikre på, de ved, hvad de taler om. Og hvorfor.
During conversation with a female friend a few days ago, I heard myself uttering, that I probably have a self bondage fetish. You know, tying myself up in all kinds of erotically perverted set-ups. Probably?! Where the fuck did “probably” come from?
When I was a kid, I used to do this. Explore my own predicament and raging hornyness, hanging myself inverted from the swing in the back yard by ropes around my legs, pretending to be caught, unable to escape. It just felt so hot, forbidden and horny.
I am a grown man now. From sexual boundaries or inhibitions, I have close to none – or at least, I thought I didn’t – I have adventurous, gorgeous and openminded sexual partners, who know what they are doing, I have an open mind myself, and I am no stranger to exploring my sexuality.
Then where does “probably” fit in the picture?
How come, I am not constantly – or ever – messing around on the floor in a pile of handcuffs, ropes, padlocks, chains, buttplugs, gags and the whole bloody hardware store scattered around me like a wall of perversion?
It suddenly occurred to me, that I may have a few more inhibitions than I am immediately aware of. And they may not necessarily be directly sexually related – but they are undeniably inhibitions.
I may have to think about that.
Honestly, I haven’t got a clue. I’ve no New Year’s resolutions either. Just this: Having more fun. Oh, and I’m looking out for a new bike as well, since I probably can’t expect to stay lean and mean forever without doing at least a little.
And I need a new job. The one I’ve got isn’t challenging me at all, and an increased paycheck wouldn’t hurt either. I’m just so damned comfortable – I really need to pull myself up by the roots on this one.
I also intend to write more. And love more. And show more affection to the beautiful young girlfriend I have got. And to introduce her to having sex with other men – or women. And to make her feel more comfortable about me seeing other women.
And to make life simpler.
And to spend more time with my friends.
And to win the lottery
And let myself get tortured by my sadistic friend and her wicked, loving mind
And to rebuild my bathroom
God, I’m tired already. I think I’ll just have a cup of coffee and a good wank.
I do wonder what it would feel like, waking up with you.
It feels so wrong in so many ways. And so right. I’ve no idea where this is heading. But I’ve never had a first kiss as intense as with you. Or laughed so freely. Or fought so ferociously. Or spanked anyone so carefully. Or licked anyone so gently.
I know you’re certainly not – but you just seem so …untouched – and yet you are confident, willful, strong.
I do long to do all the mean and nasty things to you, that you are dreaming about – but secretly I also long for knowing, what it would feel like…. to hold you when you come home from work, exhausted, despondent and vulnerable.
I wonder if it’s really a secret. I guess I’m obvious like that. However. It’s a secret as long as we want it to be.
God, you’re so attractive. And so unavailable. And yet you still want to spend nights with me. I guess we could seriuosly hurt eachother you and I – and a few other people too.
I do wonder what it feels like, waking up with you.
These mornings, when i contemplate having a relationship with you. Perfect 1st of May on my balcony, wrapped in my blanket, naked underneath, sipping my morning coffee. It’s only half past six, and the sun is already kissing my pale winter face. I wonder if it’s going to be a good one. This summer.
Neighbour’s up already; she’s just had sex. Always a new man. Never the same guy twice around. She smiles faintly and nods at me, before she disappears behind her curtain.
Lark is here. I hear him every morning now. I remember his voice as – perhaps – the first sound I ever knew. Lark. Warmth. Bliss. Summer.
You’re way too young, way too innocent; definitely too beautiful and much too shy. And I’m a heartless old pervert with gray hairs on my chest and a screwed up conception of love altogether.
I finish my coffee, shed the blanket and brush my teeth.I let the feeling go, and quietly remove your duvet. A light touch to your thigh, and you unconsciously spread your legs. I plunge and slowly lick your already dripping pussy while you slowly awaken to your first orgasm of the day.
No wonder, you think you love me. I don’t mind. I plan on keeping it that way for as long as I can.